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Decisions, Decisions *Insert thinking face emoji*

Hey Everyone!

Firstly, I wanted to apologize for the delay in my posting. I took some of the feedback that I got from my first post and wanted to make sure I'm taking strides to get better at this. I also felt this post was really personal to me and wanted to take time to thoroughly process my thoughts.

That being said, today's topic of conversation is, "Choosing You."

 I have been thinking about this recently and wanted to hear what you all think about it. Or, if it was something you had given thought to at all.

Over the last maybe six months or so, I have had a few of my friends come to me and ask me how I find it so easy to not care about those around me?

Contrary to popular belief, it is not that I do not care, however, I simply choose myself over others.

I've recently come under scrutiny from friends saying it is selfish of me to do so. Though confident of my stance, I find myself feeling bad in certain instances. I find it hard to find the balance between helping others and being able to step away from people to ensure my own sanity.

Recently a friend of mine, who I would consider rather close, came to me and asked: "Josh, you know I've got you right?" Naturally, my response was yes. Then my friend asked: "Do you actually have me the way that I have you?"

I was put in a weird spot because over the past few months I have been slowly learning about self care and what that actually means. One of the places in my life I saw needed improvement was ensuring that I am okay before I check in with other people. It is never meant as something malicious. However, it is often mistaken as so.

Where I find myself confused is, how to balance the two?

On the one hand, I love my friends dearly and would do anything for them. However, I love myself exponentially more.

That said, what is one to do?

I am not claiming to have the correct answer by any means.

Frankly, I've been struggling with this for a few weeks now. The opinions from both sides have been varying to a great degree. I have the side that says if you are truly a person's friend and support system, you should know what you sign up for before you do so. Which, to a degree is true. However, I land more on the side of, do whatever it is that you need to be happy. Even if that means ignoring the needs of some to ensure that you are well enough to be there for them if they need.

Again, this is something a little more personal than my last post. I wanted to know if I was the only one thinking about this. It can be difficult to maintain the balance between ensuring you are golden and then making sure those around you are golden as well.

Let me know what you think in the comments.

I will be going back to posting on Wednesdays and Fridays starting this coming week.

Remember














Enjoy your weekend! :)

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